Live Life to the Fullest. I LOVE YOU.

Have you ever experience the saddest moment of your life? It is NOT the feeling of getting a very bad result in exam or being betrayed and hurt by someone you truly love. I've just experienced a thousand time more painful that what I've mentioned.

On 17 JUNE 2011 was the day I lost the most precious daddy and the worst moment of my life.

He died cause of internal bleeding in his brain BUT the doctor couldn't explain any further.

He did not fall or knocked his head, no sickness, no disease and went for yearly check-up.

He fainted on 16 June, Thursday morning, when I was in class.

I will never forget his smiling face that morning as I told him I was about to leave for class.

He doesn't knock on anything nor hit his head as he fainted on the sofa.

My mum was so afraid that she called for ambulance BUT the ambulance reached AFTER my brother came back home from Pulau Gadong.

My mum and brother brought my dad to Mahkota Hospital and on the way there, my mum kept calling my dad to wake up but it doesn't work and she felt my dad's heartbeat has stopped.

My mum called me several times and told me to stop my class immediately and go to hospital as soon as possible.

At first, I don't understand why is all this happening and I NEVER thought that my dad would just gone like that. He always told us health is very important and for every small little flu or cough, he would insist us to check the doctor.

On my way to Mahkota Hospital, I never thought of anything bout my dad being in a critical state. 

The moment I reached there, I saw my mum crying badly and my brother shed his tears.

My heart really sinked. I was so afraid.

The doctor told us to be strong and if miracle happens, he would be in coma for the rest of his life as his brain already dead.

But my dad passed away the very next early morning. He did not wake up eversince he fainted and trust me, I have lots and lots of things to say.

I've got no chance to tell him, "Daddy, I love you"..

I couldn't accept the fact that he's gone just like that.

Well, who can accept a sudden death?! NONE.

Even my dad don't.

And today, I finally understand how short and sudden life can be. 

You might live today but dead tomorrow.

No one knows.

As for my mum, she appears to be stronger than I expected.

She told me to be strong and study very hard.

She said she wants to take care of his children and that's what my dad wants her to be.

Everynight, she would hug my dad's clothes until fall asleep.

I know deep down in her she missed him so much that the only thing that she wanna do now is to be strong for my dad and life goes on.

I'm very proud of her but no matter what, I still need to be by her side. She needs us.

I told her, "Mummy, I love you" without any hesitation or awkward-ness because I knew if I don't tell her, I will regret for the rest of my life.

My dad will always be the best dad and he left us with all beautiful memories.

He will protect us.

HE IS THE BEST AND I LOVE MY DAD!!!

Life goes on.

I never regret being in this loving family and in fact I LOVE THEM ALOT! <3

My life grows with my family. I LOVE THEM.

Yesterday all I felt was needle poking onto me.
It's pain. I mean how can you say that. I didn't want to say it yesterday not because I don't dare but I don't want to.
Who cares if I work like a dog? Who cares if I believe them so much?
At least they won't hurt me. I dont mind people saying youre just so stupid. I would just reply them, well, who are you if there wasn't your mum? do you even have the chance to live in this world?
They gave me shelter, love and care. I do admit I was angry at them sometimes but so?? IT'S FAMILY. I really hope you do care for your family. If you want to respect me, please respect them first. You just want your way and have you ever thought of the consequences? I appreciate those who respect my family (you know who you are). And imagine if someone talking bad about someone you really love how you feel? yes. You do know how to say if it is true then say. something awful to hear then? you accept their words willingly?
I've been thinking for so long. I'm in pain, they were the one bring me up. Without them, there wouldnt be me.
This is me. I Love Them. They will never give up on me for something else. Love me sincerely, secure me and care for me, I will love you more than how I love them. That's all I want. I'll pray for you. dont be selfish. Just open your eyes widely and care for the people who really loves you. When theyre gone, no point regretting.

Thank You :)

now i realised how great life it is when you start to cherish everything you have.. family, friends, someone special to you and etc..
just as you thought nobody cares for you and you start to hate your life, the evils will obviously come to you..
i've learnt that no matter how bad your life is, just go with the flow.. i mean take it as a challenge from God..

Honestly, i've never been thru suffering in life.. i gave up easily when something goes wrong.. just a few days ago, i couldnt sleep..
Everynight i will be crying.. so i prayed.. wondering if He listens to me..
i was lifeless.. but i had to fake around with a smile and when something happens, i would choose to avoid rather than solving..
Today, i'm here writing this blog is to remind myself that whatever happens, there's always a solution and someone who's there for us.. (to my friends you know who you are, thank you)
oh ya, another thing, my life started to move on :)
who says life arent important?! o.0
hahaha :p
dont let anything drag you down and remember its a test from God..
and all i knew was I PASSED MY TEST..!! waiting for another one to come.. theres many other people who face worst than we do.. appreciate and cherish

Thank you Lord :)
And everyone,don't give up when you fall.. find someone to talk to.. it will make you feel better :)


God is with me and you too :)


Cheers!